Spring Energy: An Opportunity for Change
Spring brings a desire to make change, to make things new around us. You may want to rearrange the furniture, deep clean everything, or start an exercise routine that incorporates the beautiful weather. It is a strong desire to refresh our environment and mirror what is happening outside!
Establishing that newness, and freshness in our routines can be challenging.
We have habits that our brains have carefully crafted to keep us safe on a path that brings us pleasure and comfort without expelling too much energy. So asking our brilliantly protective brains to shift and make space for new things that will bring us a healthier form of comfort can be a big ask.
What do we do if there is something that is missing from our routine or something we want to shift?
Perhaps you have a goal of flossing your teeth more often, or adding some exercise. Maybe you want to start taking vitamins, but it is a challenge to remember them each day. How can you implement the changes you want to make?
SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS: If you are trying to fit a new task in your routine at a time when you are already overwhelmed, you might be placing the meatball on top of an overfull plate. (And we all know that meatball is just going to roll right onto the white carpet.)
It can be helpful to think about your daily routine and pick a time that you think you will have the most success at adding a new task. For example, the flossing situation. If you notice you are really tired before bed and flossing feels like too much, or you often fall asleep before you are able to do a nighttime routine, try flossing in the morning or after lunch. You get the benefits of flossing your teeth and you might have more success at sticking to your goal.
Or let’s say you and your partner have decided to increase your physical connections. If you are too tired at night, you can try including a 1-minute hug when you get home from work. Small shifts with success will tell your brain you are on the right track.
REDUCE STRESSORS: When we are paralyzed by stress it is difficult to maintain a routine, let alone change anything. Take inventory of moments in your routine that are creating a stress response. Can you change that or let it go? Maybe you check your phone first thing in the morning. You can try limiting notifications until you are in a better space to handle them, or change your settings so you are not getting news headlines without opening the app. Protecting your mental space is a big way to reduce stress.
This can also involve setting boundaries to get your needs met during those stressful times of day. If you find you prefer to discuss big things in the morning, but your partner prefers nighttime discussions, work together in a dialogue to find a compromise that allows you both to get your needs met, and reduce the stress in your relationship.
COUPLE YOUR TASKS: Another technique to implement new tasks is to couple new routines with things that you are already doing. So if you get a cup of coffee or tea every morning, you could couple taking your vitamins with that action. Set the bottles on a shelf near your coffee supplies and couple them up! Bonus points if you get a glass of water in there to take the vitamins!
To start an appreciation routine with your partner, couple your appreciation with something you do together each day. Just be sure to pause the teeth brushing and look at one another while you deliver the appreciation.
ADD PLAY TO YOUR ROUTINE: Spring is an excellent time to add in playful routines with friends and partners. The outside opportunities are opening up! Make a plan to get out of a repetitive weekend routine by finding something new to do. Schedule monthly brunch on a patio, attend a spring festival, maybe check-out a yoga in the park class (with or without goats!). Motivation for the other tasks in your life is easier when you have some play time to look forward to.
You can also use play to create deeper connections with your partner. Spring is frisky season after all. Increase the fun with playful interactions like flirting, dancing, laughing, late night talks. Try to remember ways you and your partner connected in the beginning of your relationship. What can you bring back around that will be fun for both of you? Play is relaxing and gives your brain those pleasure rewards that can help you make positive change in your relationship.
In this season of new beginnings (and pollen), you can create that fresh start. Seize those opportunities for change when you can, and go slowly with compassion for your brain as you adjust your routine.
Happy Spring!
